May 15th 2019
“Hey Kevin...I can’t go tomorrow on the trip...sorry”
I got that text from one of our Seniors at 9:33 PM on January 28th - the day before we left for our Winter Outdoor Leadership Training. Yamiletz is a tough student to get to commit for trips. After a few weeks of trying to convince Yami to join her classmates for the trip, she was finally on board. Until we got that text Monday night.
Kris and I were winding down from a long day of final preparations for the 4-day visit to Nockamixon State Park, and Kris insisted that I call Yami back as soon as we saw the text. She later told me that she wished she never picked up the phone, but she did, and we spent more than thirty minutes talking to her before she finally committed.
One of the big things that stood out to me from the phone call was Yami’s response after Kris preached to her about the great leader that she is within the program. Many of the staff here have spoken highly of the role that Yami plays on the Leadership Team, but she couldn’t seem to wrap her head around the fact that she is a strong leader and role model.
I texted Yami after our phone call. Here is how that exchange went:
“I believe you...I don’t think that me going will make my class think I’m a leader or look up to me in that kind of way but we’ll see.”
“I beg to differ. I don’t think they would tell you they look up to you or see you as a leader, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true.”
“If you believe that then I’ll try to believe it too because honestly they are wayyy smarter than me to even look up to me. Just because I stay to myself or that I’m shy doesn't mean I’m going to be a better leader or that I’m smarter.”
“Smarts got nothin’ to do with it. Being shy has nothin’ to do with it. Don’t sell yourself short.”
I had to stop the conversation there. I knew that I had a lot to say, so I saved it for the bus ride and told her I would try to hear where she was coming from.
This is a hot topic for me these days – doubting myself and not being able to see what other people see in me. I don’t like the idea that other people feel that same way. Especially young students who have so much potential to make an impact and be an example of kindness to the people around them. I made it my goal for Yamiletz to believe in and be confident in her leadership abilities, and her gigantic, kind heart.
I tend to be pretty quiet sometimes too. I am terrified of speaking in front of people, leading group discussions, and doing most of the things that my boss Kris is amazing at. I shared all of that with Yami, because I wouldn’t feel so strongly about all of this if it wasn’t coming from my own experience.
For as long as I have known her, she has shown how kind, thoughtful and genuine she is. She takes the time to talk, always asks me how my weekend was, asks me thoughtful questions about my family and what goals I have for my life. She doesn’t realize it, but all of this comes naturally to her. She isn’t a fan of speaking in front of people, but she is a master of leading by example. She quietly leads, thinking that others are more capable. That others are better. But, in my opinion, she takes on the most important role as a leader. She leads others by being compassionate and taking a real interest in others. She leads by being herself.
On the third day of our trip, Kris decided that he wanted Yami to be one of our “Leaders of the Day,” which meant that she would be communicating with the group on the trail, making sure everybody was drinking enough water and hiking at a comfortable pace, and that we kept a pace that would get us off the trail in time for dinner and the rest of the day’s activities. She was not so happy with me when I told her that she would be doing this, and she made it very clear to me that she did not want to be in this role.
We talked on the bus ride to the trailhead and I encouraged her to own the role for the day. I reminded her that I also dread speaking in front of the group and being a vocal leader. She was still a bit resistant when the hike started, but she allowed herself to be uncomfortable and pushed through the day. And she did a great job, obviously.
To finish up the night, we did an activity called “Pass the Story.” Everybody wrote a sentence, fact or fiction, about the hike earlier in the day. Then we all passed our notebook to the right and the next person down would add a sentence on without reading anything but the sentence directly before it. By the end of the activity each person had a short, 13-sentence story in their notebook. The stories were hilarious and barely made sense, which is the point of the activity. We all spent about a half hour that night crying from laughter as we read the stories.
There was a common thread in each story. At some point, “the Almighty Yami,” the fearless leader of the group, came into the picture and saved the day. It was a fitting role for her to play in every story that was passed around. Although she may not always believe it, she is the Almighty Yami - our genuine, kind-hearted and thoughtful leader.